I’ve been experimenting with my OkCupid match questions, attempting to find some way to make the match percentages useful again, and I just can’t quite seem to manage it. My previous theories have all fallen to counterexamples in the population.
What I want is to be able to create a match threshold above which I will only find people who are interested in nonmonogamous relationships. Such people being vanishingly rare, that really needs to be the first tier of my own personal Drake Equation; otherwise any group I’m looking at contains too much noise. However, there’s simply no way on this site to do that consistently any more, as people who only answer a few questions can (and in fact, are much more likely to) match in the high 90s.
Of course, what would really help would be a search filter for people who are “available” as opposed to “single”. What would help even more would be the ability to check off something like “nonmonogamous” on my profile and then search on people who have checked that.
As exists, the only real way to do this on here is to “hide” anyone who shows up as a high match and then has a profile that indicates an interest in monogamy. Of course, there are any number of people who match me highly and (quite rightly) feel that they shouldn’t have to write “I’m looking for monogamous relationships” in their profile, as the default assumption should be that they are. So there is some number of people who don’t indicate on their profile that they are in and/or into open relationships, who match me highly, and yet whom it doesn’t make any sense to try to contact because the vast majority are going to be monogamous and be at best annoyed and at worst horribly offended if I hit on them.