I was reminded in a post that L made today that it is “White Day” or “Reply Day” (as well as “Pi Day”, as you no doubt know). This is a manufactured holiday that originated in Japan in response to the Japanese conception of Valentine’s Day. So let me bracket this story and explicate a bit:
In Japan, supposedly (and likely apocryphally) as a result of a “mistranslation”, Valentine’s has become a holiday on which women traditionally gift the men in their life with chocolates to show their affection. In the late 70s, several Japanese companies managed to start a tradition of men “replying” to the gifts received on Valentine’s with a gift on White Day (traditionally with much more expensive gifts).
So, I ended up spending time this evening with L, and I realized that I had spent Valentine’s Day with Carrie (and in fact moved a prospective date with L when I realized the date), and White Day with L, and it occurred to me that this could be a very good thing for people with multiple relationships. Valentine’s is thorny for single folks, but also for nonmonogamous folks, and I’ve heard of strategies ranging from being sure to devote the day to your primary (what I did) to being sure to spend some time that day with everyone you’re seeing, which sounds potentially exhausting. But if there were a second day, and a third, etc., everyone would get to have a time devoted to their relationship, specifically.
I’m not really super into Valentine’s as a concept, given the nasty head trip it often lays on people, and the fact that one should be honoring and treasuring one’s Significant Other(s) every day. At the same time, the idea of making every 14th matter necessarily dilutes the effects of The 14th. Or take the 28th, if you’re seeing more than twelve people. If you’re seeing more than 24 people, first of all, I don’t know how you’re finding the time to read my blog, and second of all given that you’re clearly Doctor Who, The Flash, or Hermione Granger with the time twister thing from that one book I’m not terribly sympathetic to your problems.
I don’t know if this is a proposal, per se, but maybe the floating of an idea. I will have to ponder how much I personally think it’s a good idea before putting it into practice, but I do have a year.