Having really just started learning the logistical gymnastics of dating two people at once, I’m even more in awe of those who manage a handful of simultaneous capital-R Relationships. Trying to make sure that the proper amount of time is spent with Carrie and that I still see L once a week or so has been taxing, even more so when one adds in the demands of a non-doin’-it social life. In an email exchange with a friend recently, she indicated that she’s seeing someone new and that someone has five simultaneous relationships. I’ve been pondering this, and have come to the conclusion that that does not, in fact, fit into a mortal person’s 168-hour week. I have a few theories as to how this can be managed, though:
- A time-turner would make this trivial, and frankly this would be a much better use of it than trying to cram 25 credit-hours into a semester. No, this does not mean that Emma Watson is poly, shut up. At least, not to the best of my knowledge.
- Some sort of self-replication would also work, but in most portrayals only one body is the real body, and then you have to rotate that around so as to avoid offending someone, I’d imagine. Or else the primary body just stays home with your primary? Also allows triad or V relationships that only include two people, or, for two replicators, the ability to be both polyfidelitous and monogamous.
- Robotic impostors are an intriguing path, although you’d be missing out on part of the fun. Plus, they would inevitably rise up against their human masters, but hey, maybe you’re a switch and that’s okay.
- One could also spend time with multiple people by astrally projecting. One obvious problem with this path is that there wouldn’t be any touching, but I think you’d probably sully your chakras and end the projection if you tried, regardless. Plus, it’s not about the sex, right?
- Combining one and two, a Time Lord would probably have no trouble with this sort of thing. One question: is it still poly if you’re dating two different incarnations of the same man? And if so, can I get Ten and Eleven at the same time?
- Of course, if you don’t experience time in a linear manner, I suppose you can’t have anything but nonmonogamous relationships, as you’re seeing everyone you’ll ever see all at the same time, which sounds like a hell of a party. One that my ex-fiancée would ruin, I’m sure.