I find your pictures attractive and your profile non-repulsive. I have therefore come to the conclusion that if I were to put my penis inside you, a good time would be had by all, and that we’d both find each other interesting enough to navigate the process. I suspect that, on seeing my pictures and reading my profile, you will reach the same conclusion.
I propose the exchange of several internet messages during which neither of us brings this up. After 3-6 messages on each side, we should meet in person and also not discuss these conclusions. At the end of that meeting, I will make some sort of physical advance, without, of course, verbally acknowledging it ahead of time, and you will either accept that advance or clumsily reject it. In the latter case, I will apologize, as will, for some reason, you, and we will laugh nervously and make plans to repeat the process.
If, instead, you accept the advance, we will begin another clumsy, non-verbal (of course) process of fits and starts where I will attempt to escalate the contact. You know, of course, that my end goal is naked body rubbing, as do I, and you have already decided how far toward that we will progress this evening, but of course neither of us will discuss this because that would be weird. If you do stop me, we will follow the laugh-nervously-and-reset process outlined previously.
Over the course of one or more evenings of this, assuming no major faults on either side (you’re not a juggalo/ette, right?), we will achieve the naked rubbing end goal that both of us have been planning on since we first saw each other’s photos. It is at this point that we will find out if our sexual styles and abilities are in any way compatible with and enjoyable to one another. If not, one or both of us will awkwardly avoid contacting the other one until one or both of us gives up.
Assuming that it works out, though, congratulations! We may now discuss sex. Also, you can let out that fart.
Sincerely, or as close to it as cultural restraints will allow,