Moving forward

I’ve been thinking of moving this site to my main writing site,, to sort of consolidate everything in one place. I haven’t done so primarily because this site is sort of semi-secret; it’s not that anyone shouldn’t know anything here, it’s that I have friends and family who’d just rather not be confronted with my love life.  It probably wouldn’t be a huge problem, but I still feel a need for a little bit of separation. Like, if my mom goes looking and finds this site, then she’s welcome to read it, but that doesn’t mean that I want to put it in front of her face every time I write a new post.

It’s also, as I’ve pointed out before, no longer accurately named. At six years or so of writing on the subject–however intermittently–I’m no longer reasonably considered a novice in the world of open dating.

There some value, too, in having it more accessible. I’ve been seeing Ravaella Huntinghawk, half-elven monk, for a couple of months now, and she only recently stumbled across the thing (Hi, Ravaella).  I certainly could have sent her the link, but didn’t think to. I’ve often found as a writer that it’s useful to let new paramours find out about me through my writing, or at least find out that either all the stories I’ve been telling are true or I’m an incredibly prepared liar.

Things with Ravaella have gotten more intense more quickly than I was prepared for. I have found myself holding back a touch because it’s unclear how into the poly lifestyle she’s going to be, and that’s a recipe for a certain kind of hurt. You can see that in what happened previously with Ravamorel; I’m often someone’s one experiment in open relationships before they go back to monogamy, and it’s worth it, but there’s a melancholy to it. I’m sort of always gaining new and exciting people but I’m also sort of always just post breakup with someone.

I think I’m past the holding back, though, and now I’m just in the moment with everything. I’m really, really into her, and things are going well. If anything, I can’t manage to see her nearly as often as I want to.

Honestly, the one thing I’m sort of missing now is a local non-dating friend that I can go do arbitrary things with, rather than seeing each other at Events. I haven’t had, say, a “best friend” for a long time, and this is the sort of place that people seem to move away from a lot, as I mentioned here.

In any event, things are good. If you’re in Providence and free on Jan 15th, I’ll be performing in the semifinals slam at AS220. Hope to see you there.


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